


A Wilde Family Holiday

by Mikey2084



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Bad Humor, Drama, F/M, Family, Holidays, Humor, Married Life, Parody, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21829825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikey2084/pseuds/Mikey2084
Summary: A holiday oneshot featuring our favorite fox and bunny couple, their kits, and some uninvited visitors.
Relationships: Judy Hopps/Nick Wilde
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	A Wilde Family Holiday

Disclaimer: Zootopia and all related characters are owned by Disney, and for all the other shows I'm about to parody, they are also owned by someone who is not me.

…..

Judy made her way over extension cords, multiplugs, and strings of lights draped all over the yard to stand in front of her small house and call out to her mate.

"Niiiick, are you almost done? The kits want to come out and see."

"I'm almost done with the lights up here, and then a few more strings on the back of the house. Give me about ten more minutes."

"Okay, but hurry if you can, the kits are bouncing around inside, they want to see what you've been up to all week."

Nick laughed, "Same as last year, except bigger!"

Judy shook her head as she walked back into the house, "Good thing I love him, otherwise, I'd have to have him committed. I wonder if Dr. Badger is still working at the Cliffside Asylum?"

"I heard that!"

…..

A squid-like creature wearing a Captain's cap slithered up to the Fleet Commander and his staff as they were all standing around a 3-Dimensional holographic display of the solar system they'd just entered. Saluting his superior, the captain said, "Sir, we're exactly on schedule, the fleet is forming up behind us, and we are proceeding to the attack coordinates as you commanded."

"Very good, Captain, any sign they've detected us?"

"No sir, no scans or attempts at communication, it looks like they are just as defenseless as our scouts said they would be."

…..

A grizzled old grizzly bear stood up from his supervisor's chair that was centered in front of a wall of monitors located in a bunker twenty stories under the Zootopia museum. Years ago, the bunker was added to the refurbishment plan of the Museum, everyone figured the construction would go unnoticed, and it did until the pit display secret entrance was almost found by a fox and a rabbit being chased by a psychotic ewe.

"All right, boys. This–"

"Ahem."

"–Uh, right. Boys _and girls_. This is it! You've prepared for twelve long months for this moment. Ever since all those suppliers tipped us off on all the crazy things they were being asked to do, the city of Zootopia, hell the whole world, has been preparing for tonight. Yes, we've had to do our work and our training in secret so as not to panic the population, and I know that it's been hard on you and your families, but tonight, we show everyone what Zootopia's made of, because failure is not an option!"

A very young wolf rushed over, "Sir, we're ready to start bringing on the new power plants, just give the word."

Smiling, the grizzly looked over the group and then back to the youngest member of his crew, "The word is given, bring them online."

…..

"Captain, sir, I'm detecting some energy fluctuations coming from the planet. They're coming from multiple points around the city we're targeting."

The Captain slithered over to his science officer's console and asked, "Have you seen any weapons or defensive fields come online?"

"No, sir, just fluctuations in the power grid so far."

The Fleet Commander asked from across the Dreadnought's large bridge, "Is there a problem, Captain?"

Standing at attention, the Captain quickly replied, "No, sir, nothing to worry about."

The Fleet Commander rubbed his gelatinous cheek and replied, "Good, move the fleet into attack formation, and prepare to commence bombardment."

…..

Judy huffed, "Nick, this is ridiculous, why are you making us wear these welding masks, I feel like I'm a stormtrooper or something."

"Give yourself to the Dark Side of the force," said a young tod trying to sound foreboding.

"Mom! Jonathan's trying to use the force on me, make him stop!" yelled the doe standing next to her annoying brother.

Judy lifted up her blast shield of a mask and said, "Katie, he's just playing."

"Mom, now he's breathing all scary like!"

"Jonathan, leave your sister alone, or you're on dish duty for a week."

Going over to a large switch box, Nick yelled out, "Alright everyone, masks on, here we go, three, two, one…"

…..

It was controlled chaos in the bunker, emergency lights had flipped on as the new power plants fed enormous quantities of power into the planetary grid trying to keep up with the sudden demand. The geothermal plants were running at 100%, and all fifty of the planet's massive fusion plants were online and running at full capacity.

An alert horn started screaming as one of the huge monitors was zoomed in to one of the continent's coastal regions, "Sir, we've lost Mockatomi plaza and all of grid 212! If we don't do something fast, we'll suffer a cascading failure and lose power to everything, we'll be completely exposed, everyone will know we failed. What do we do?"

"Calm down, son, we're not out of the fight yet, reroute the power through the auxiliary feeds and have fusion plants #30 through #42 go to 110% to take up the load."

"But, sir, that's not enough, half the planet will go dark in seconds."

Growling, the grizzly knew that it was 'do or die' time, he had to throw everything in and hope against hope that they'd make it to tomorrow and he was still around to fix the mess he was about to make.

"Disable the safeties, engage the planetary reserves, feed it all into the grid," falling back into his chair, the grizzly pulled off his Zootopia Public Works ballcap in dismay, looked up at all the warning lights on the monitors, and whispered to himself, "and pray it's enough."

…..

"Sir! How Commander. How?" screamed the Captain as he waved his one uninjured tentacle around the command deck.

There was smoke coming from most of the command consoles, wires and panels had exploded outward, and dozens of crew members were being helped by their crewmates.

The Fleet Commander staggering over from his plotting board where all his staff lay unconscious, and groaned out, "They're sorcerers, they are. It's as if they read the thoughts in my brain. They hid their defenses until the last possible second and hit us when we were most vulnerable."

"We are beaten. Can it be true? The Praetor's finest fleet beaten."

Moving to one of the only functioning consoles on the bridge, the Fleet Commander started pressing buttons and entered a special code that only those of his rank knew. "Perhaps we can yet save your Praetor's pride for him. Prepare to launch the Omega 13 device."

…..

"Kind of bright, don't you think?" said Judy as she clanked helmets with her mate.

"I like it," said Jonathan, "I'll bet you can see the lights on our house from outer space."

Nick nodded, "Yup, this is perfect, way more lights than last year. No way that old grouch across the street ever wins the neighborhood house decorating contest again."

Judy rolled her eyes, not that anyone could see her face through the thick protective glass, but she did it anyway, and then spying something not right, she said, "Nick, I think you missed some strings over there."

Nick raced over to the dark section of lights and jiggled a multiplug until they came on and added more lumens of energy to the already powerful light show.

"Thanks, Carrots. Now it's perfect."

…..

Alarm klaxons went off, and more consoles exploded at the sudden increase in colorful lumen power being beamed at them from the planet. The captain hung onto his command chair for dear life, and looking over at the Fleet Commander beating a tentacle against the dead launch console, yelled, "How did our scouts miss such a weapon, our engines are gone, our shields are down, and our weapons are useless. What do we do?"

Looking at the planet in the view screen grow larger and larger as the entire fleet coasted powerlessly into the atmosphere like so much debris, the Fleet Commander quietly replied, "We die."

…..

Pointing up to the sky, Katie bounced up and down, saying, "Oooh, look, everyone, shooting stars."

Judy went and hugged her daughter, "Make a wish, honey, there are so many of them, your wish is sure to come true."

Katie pulled everyone together, even her dorky brother, and said, "I wish for everyone everywhere to have a very Merry Holiday Season."

…..

A/N: My sincere apologies to these seven movies and TV shows: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Star Trek Wrath of Khan, Star Trek: Balance of Terror, Die Hard, Star Wars, Galaxy Quest, and The Last Starfighter. Seven shows in less than 1500 words, take that Bembridge Scholars! Ha! Make that eight shows (The Mummy).

Special thanks to Cimar/Wildehopps for chuckling at this crazy story and encouraging me to post it.

~Mikey :)


End file.
